I'm tired

In all hot mess mom fashion, I am making this post at after 9 on a Wednesday.

If you are noticing a few trends here: I am messy, I like to publish these posts on wednesday's and I am trying to be consistent- (key word trying). Today I wanted to bring up the touchy subject of parenting being hard as hell. And that it isn't all sunshine and rainbows. A lot of times when I catch myseflf talking (complaining) about parenting, some may respond like "but she's so perfect, she's so xyz". Yes I know, but just let me complain for a minute...

do you like to vent sometimes?

• I vent all the time
• No, not my thing
• I don't think venting is helpful
• Sometimes ya just need it!

Anyways, I know it can be annoying sometimes to listen to someone complaining about things they chose in their lives or even things they can't control. This leads me to my next point. Most of us are freaking burnt out- parents and non parents which turns to complaining/venting. And I swear I don't complain about parenting all of the time. I might just be the first (I know I'm not) to acknowledge that its very hard to do things-let alone having a mini human at your feet who also doesn't know how to control their emotions (notice how I say also, us adults don't know how to control our emotions, yet we expect our little babies to). I absolutely love to be a mom, but lets face it. It feels absolutely impossible to work full time, be a parent, keep up with friendships, hobbies, eat a balanced diet,sleep(what is that?) exercise a few times a week, maintain a household, and so much more. It feels impossible and most of us aren't aittaining it. Which then can snow ball into being over stimulated and or burnt out. I think I even explained how it felt before by saying its like being a crumpled piece of paper thats been written all over, ripped up a little bit, thrown out and yet people keep trying to take notes on it. (I dont feel this way all of the time, I swear I am okay).

I know that sounds so dramatic. But I was called a drama queen when I was little all of the time, in which I would scream back and slam my door saying "I'm not dramatic". ok sure. Did you notice I ramble alot yet? I'm not a professional blogger, I'm just here for a good time and a good outlet... and I hope I can find people who can relate.

Side note: how are these people on social media doing all of the things and looking amazing doing it; oh yeah- its fake.

Here are some tips that I came up with to make your life a little bit easier. They might not but they help me, so why not share?

Grocery lists/ allotted time for putting it away

I know it seems self explanatory to make a grocery list and then come home and put it away. But I want to emphasize the point of going through your fridge/pantry, coming up with what you might like to eat/ what ingredients they'll take and bringing that to the store. Then make sure you have expendable time to come home, clean up the fridge, wash, cut and put everything away in a way that is easiest for you to access. When things are put away nicely and easily accessible, it is actually easier to eat a little bit healthier/ less food waste. Side note: if you follow me on instagram you may have seen the few posts I made about my daughter helping me in the kitchen lately- I have noticed such an increase in the foods she has been eating and the enjoyment she has from learning new things.

An air fryer and crockpot

This is kind of a joke kind of not. I know that extra kitchen gadgets can be a luxury. I really love the luxury of throwing something in the air fryer quick just to get something on the table for dinner. I try to choose one crockpot meal a week to make- doesn't always happen but when it does- I love it. There are other things that are helpful that don't require these kitchen items that I mentioned in my previous blog post like microwaveable veggies, rices etc.

Just doing it

Hey it's Nike. Just kidding. I had this thing written on my whiteboard in the bathroom- Yes I have a whiteboard in my bathroom..... anyways, it said- "anything that takes 10 minutes or less just do it". I know it is easier said than done especially coming from a person who goes to sleep with makeup on at times. But seriously just take the extra time to just do it, I like to refer to it as doing something for your future self. For example: the days I go to bed with makeup on is like borrowing time and sanity from tomorrow because when I wake up with it still on then I need to take aside the extra time to take it off (aside from the normal face washing) and then likely reapply it. Or leaving the dishes in the kitchen sink. NOW... I am a hot mess mom and hell yes will I choose to borrow the time and sanity from tomorrow- sometimes it is freaking necessary. But usually, the snow ball effect happens and the next day i'll be a little cranky that I didn't do it. The more we cancel on ourselves- the more we teach ourselves its okay to not hold ourselves accountable. Even if it is as simple as taking your makeup off at night.

Limiting alcohol

In today's world, alcohol is so normalized. Most people are shown that drinking alcohol makes parenting easier.Have you ever heard of "Mommy wine culture"? I think drinking makes parenting harder, especially on those early Saturday mornings being hungover. I'm not saying to never drink again, but limiting it to a few or less often definitely helps!

Having some sort of plan

You know me, well kinda, after two blog posts and or maybe you actually know me. I always need a plan or a todo list. My brain is in to do list format except it was shaken up. I think having some sort of plan in mind or even written on a million post its helps you have some sort of control as to what is going on. And lets face it, how good does it feel to cross something off?

Communication

Gahh, this one is tough but so necessary. How else would anyone know that you need to go outside for a breather before you scream your head off? Communicating with your partner, communicating with your little ones. When I first had my daughter I used to have a hard time communicating things to her because I felt like I was talking to myself but I think its always important to include them in on the conversation no matter their age. I will only touch on this briefly, the good ole default parent. Being the default parent can cause so much strain especially if you are not communicating your own needs. People aren't mind readers. The default parent is the parent that takes on the household and child care role more than the other person and the child is acquainted to that. So- if you have to announce that you're leaving the room to make sure the child will be looked after in the brief moment you're gone- you're likely the default parent. Not every household has a default parent, some families have a pretty even workload in each aspect of life.

Doing things you enjoy

Just because you are a parent now, doesn't mean that you can't enjoy life or do "non parent" things. Go out, have fun, find a new hobby, meet some new friends (um how do you even do that in your 20's+?) work hard and hug those babies tight! Because they don't stay babies long.

At then end of the day, we need to acknowledge that life in general is so hard and we all have things that can make it harder but life is also so freaking beautiful. It is full of so much wonder and joy. The first time I heard my daughter say "I love you mommy" I nearly died. Parenting is the most rewarding and challenging thing in the world. Find your people and lean on em'. I'll be here for you in my words, until next week...

Love, Abby

This was the night my daughter was born, the day my heart grew a million times bigger.