just don’t comment on someone’s weight

Ok hear me out. You might think you're coming from a good place, but more times than not it does more damage. Here are a few points. (These are mainly anecdotal and what I've learned in school, I hope to do a more thorough post about this with peer reviewed journals, this is mainly to raise awareness)

1. The weight loss/gain may be unintentional. Praising it or speaking badly about it doesn't do good for anyone. Most people are aware if they are losing or gaining weight. (Not all)

2. For weight loss specific: the weight loss may be caused from depression, disordered eating, illness, etc. And someone commenting on it in a positive or negative light may reinforce unhealthy behaviors. And it also might make someone uncomfortable around you which may turn into them not coming to you if there is something going on.

3. Intentional weight loss: praising someone losing a bunch of weight really isn't helpful either. This can reinforce that you think they are better because they are thin. They might've lost the weight in a healthy manor but can turn to unhealthy options to stay that same weight due to the praise.

4. This society glorifies thinness mainly because our society is rooted in fat phobia. A lot of people assume that just because someone is heavier than them that they are in worse health which isn't true. Don't believe me? Look into any magazine or article that has a person in a larger body exercising or eating- it's usually followed with a lot of mean and nasty comments.

5. From MY OWN personal experience, I have had tons of times in my life where I was in a smaller body BUT I was drastically less healthy than I am in a bigger body. Mainly due to the unhealthy behaviors to achieve said body.I want to note that I am in a socially accepted body and will hold space for people who are in a larger body that have experienced discrimination.

6. I want you to take this time to note when you might've experienced weight loss or weight gain and reflect on how you thought about it or how others reacted.

7. Healthy looks DIFFERENT on everyone. Please do not make assumptions based on what you see. Remember that saying that is old as time? Don't judge a book by its cover. But really don't and while you're learning to not judge a book by a cover, learn to bite your tongue as well.

I might sound a little pushy in this post but in all reality I have seen and listened to many stories about people who have spiraled from comments on their body, myself included. One thing I will always take with me is that imposing shame on yourself and others is not helpful. Embrace compassion and be there for each other.

Have a good week and I'll see ya next week 🫶

love,

a hot mess mom who will defend ya

Last side note before people come for me:

Healthy weight loss is achievable and attainable. Sometimes weight loss is necessary and sometimes it isn't. Have you ever heard of nuance?